| PEOPLE |
 |
 Bannon: Trump
Can Run Again in 2028
“He's got a surplus of merchandise
to sell.” |
|
|
Report: Trump Angered by People
Calling Musk “President Musk”
That was before he caught him
canoodling with Melania behind
a stack of classified documents. |
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
Trump Calls for End
to Debt Ceiling
“For the next four years.” |
|
Trump Donors Who
Complain About Immigrants Hired
Them for Their Businesses
“I hire 'em, then I deport 'em,”
says one. |
|
 Bezos, Musk
Both Agree on Privatizing Government
Just can't agree on who would
own majority share. |
|
|
| SCIENCE |
|
 Astronauts' Return
From Space Delayed Again
They don't care, ask to delay it until
after next election. |
|
|
Neanderthals and Humans
Mated More Recently Than
Previously Thought
Last Tuesday. |
|
Scientists Think They've
Discovered What Existed
Just Before Universe Began
Some have detected what they believe
is the “tail end” of the
credits for the last universe. |
|
Humanity Could Reach
Singularity in 6 Years
“Possibly sooner,” says
Chatbot GPT 4. |
|
 Simulations
Show Ancient Hominim “Lucy”
Ran Poorly
Apparently, ancient hominim “Ricky”
was able to catch her. |
|
|
