| PEOPLE |
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 Dodgers Give Shohei
Ohtani 10-Year Contract Worth $700 Million,
Almost All of It Deferred
For ten years he'll share an apartment,
carpool to games, and work odd jobs
in off-season to make it work. |
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| PUBLISHING |
|
 Marjorie Taylor Greene's
First Book Goes on Sale
Spoiler alert: George Soros behind everything. |
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| MEDIA |
|
Study: 1 in 5 Teenagers on YouTube
or TikTok “Almost Constantly”
“And we're proud of them,”
say spokespersons for YouTube, TikTok. |
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| BUSINESS |
|
 Self-Proclaimed “World's
Smelliest Cheese” Sells Out After Debut
Pairs perfectly with corpse flower salad. |
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| SCIENCE |
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Bezos: People Will Live in
Space, Vacation on Earth
Too many distractions on Earth to
get any work done. |
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 Supercomputer
That Simulates Entire Human Brain
to Be Activated Next Year
Ten years from now, say designers,
you'll be carrying around a spare
brain in your pocket. |
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| ENVIRONMENT |
|
 Entrepreneurs
Want to Tow Icebergs to Warmer Climates
And sell snow cones. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Study: Morning People May
Have Neanderthal Genes
At least according to night owls. |
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| LEXICOGRAPHY |
|
Dictionary.com Word of
the Year: Hallucinate
Last year's word: psychedelics. |
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