| TECHNOLOGY |
 |
 Marines Test
Robot Dog Armed With Rocket Launcher
It's still an unreliable battlefield weapon,
due to squirrels. |
|
|
OpenAI Declares Its Core
Value to Build “Safe, Beneficial”
Artificial Intelligence
Not “evil, world-destroying” artificial
intelligence like its competitors. |
| |
| LABOR |
|
Actors Told Not to Wear
Halloween Costumes
Promoting Current Films
“No more Mr. Nice Guy,”
announces SAG-AFTRA president Fran Drescher. |
| |
| MISCELLANEOUS |
|
Several Amish Shunned by Their
Community When Nationwide
Alert Reveals They Have Phones
Not to mention they've been sexting
for money, trading in bitcoins. |
|
| FEATURE |
 |
| According to the Pentagon,
what percentage of American
soldiers are overweight? |
| |
A ) |
10% |
|
| |
B ) |
15% |
|
| |
C ) |
20% |
|
| |
D ) |
70% |
|
| Hint: an army marches on its
stomach, but come on. |
|
|
|
| |
| RELIGION |
|
Church in Texas Uses
AI-Generated Sermon
Compares God to Santa Claus, tells
worshipers to “grow up.” |
| |
| ODDS 'N' ENDS |
|
 Price of Girl
Scout Cookies Going Up
“Price-gouging little monsters,”
accuses one consumer group. |
|
|
