| PEOPLE |
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Picture of Pope
in Big Winter Coat Goes Viral
Not a deepfake, friends say “he's
gone Vin Diesel.” |
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| POLITICS |
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 Chris Christie
Says Bravado From Trump
Camp Toward Indictment “Baloney”
Says it with a mouth full of baloney. |
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Republicans Line Up to
Support Trump
And get first dibs on visitation
rights at Rikers Island. |
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| SPORTS |
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MLB Games Nearly 30 Minutes
Shorter With Pitch Clock,
Complain Owners
That's thirty minutes less time to sell beer,
hot dogs, peanuts, Cracker Jacks, hats
and souvenirs they suddenly realize. |
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| SCIENCE |
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New Study: Plants Make
Sounds Humans Can't Hear
If you use a stethoscope and listen
carefully you can hear a very faint
“water.” |
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Latest Theory: T. Rex Had Lips
Was covered with feathers, wore a
boa, sang jazz. |
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 Company Creates
Meatball Using Cells From
Long-Extinct Woolly Mammoth
“We think we got all the hair
out,” says spokesman. |
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New Research Suggests Moon
Has Plenty of Water
NASA will provide next manned
lunar crew with galoshes. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Microplastics Found in
Human Blood for First Time
Even more concerning, human blood
has begun showing up in Legos. |
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