Ironic Times

page one
PAGE THREE – DECEMBER 5 - 11, 2022
page two

TECHNOLOGY
San Francisco May Deploy Robots That Kill
After robots take forty hours of sensitivity training.
Musk: Neuralink Will Allow
Humans to Control Computers
With Their Minds

“I will make the mouse extinct,” he declares.
 
SPORTS
World Cup: Colonial Powers
Hold Strong

England beats Senegal; Netherlands beats former colony, New Amsterdam.
 
BREAKING NEWS
Trump Calls for “Termination”
of Constitution and His Reinstatement as President

Biden agrees, as does every member of Congress, and Trump is quickly whisked to the White House, sworn in, and served a nice cold Diet Coke, with a straw.
FEATURE
In a recent poll of U.S. residents, what percentage said they keep a weapon in their car when they drive?
   A )  5%  
   B )  10%  
   C )  15%  
   D )  65%  
Hint: don't give the old lady who just cut you off the finger.
 
LAW
Trump Org Defense Team
Claims Trump Clueless
About Tax Fraud

“He's practically brain dead, he don't know nothin',” they state in their closing argument.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Merriam-Webster Word
of the Year: “Gaslighting”

Barely beats out “gas prices.”

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE
 © Copyright 2022 Ironic Times