Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – OCTOBER 24 - 30, 2022
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LAW
Archivists Sue Biden Administration Over Delay in Releasing JFK Assassination Records
“If Biden was in the grassy knoll with a gun that day, we want to know,” says one.
 
ENVIRONMENT
New Zealand Proposes Tax
On Greenhouse Gases
From Cow Burps

“It's the only way to stop them from burping,” says one scientist.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Group of Robot Makers Pledges
To Never Arm Them

However, “if a robot thinks it needs a weapon, it wouldn't have any trouble finding one.”
 
NEW PRODUCTS
Touted as the “Next Big Thing,” Cell-Cultivated Seafood is Grown
In a Lab
Looks, tastes, and smells like the real thing. All that's missing is the plastic and the mercury. Needs no refrigeration. Legal in most states. Free two-day delivery from Something Fishy.
FEATURE
According to a Brookings study, what is the total cost of raising a child to age 17?
A )$50,000
B )$75,000
C )$100,000
D )$310,000
Hint: Isn't it nice to know you could have had a Lamborghini?
 
TRAVEL
New Supersonic Airliner Will Fly You From London to New York in 80 Minutes
New York to DC in less time than it takes to call.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
New Anna May Wong Quarter Enters Circulation
Coming soon: Moms Mabley half dollar.

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