TECHNOLOGY |
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Mark Zuckerberg
Posts Selfie From Metaverse
His avatar has a delightful lunch near the
Eiffel Tower before a gang of avatar
pickpockets robs him of his imaginary
Rolex. |
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Scientists Develop
Furniture That Assembles Itself
After much cursing and swearing. |
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Chess-Playing Robot Breaks
Boy's Finger During Match
Later apologizes, claims it was an accident. |
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EDUCATION |
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Missouri School District
Revives Paddling
Also dunce caps. |
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Texas Requires “In God
We Trust” Signs in Schools
They must be displayed prominently,
next to the “How 'Bout Them
Cowboys” signs. |
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FEATURE |
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How many pages of classified
documents did Donald Trump take
with him to Mar-a-Lago? |
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A ) |
300 |
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B ) |
400 |
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C ) |
500 |
|
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D ) |
600 |
|
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E ) |
700 |
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Hint: and counting. |
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MISCELLANEOUS |
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Teachers Earn Only $29 More
Per Week Than They Did in 1996
Very few hedge fund brokers have
switched to teaching. |
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ODDS 'N' ENDS |
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California Bans Sales of Gas
Powered Vehicles by 2035
Shown: artist's rendering of freeway in
2035 with nothing but electric vehicles. |
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