| ART |
 |
 Bust Bought
at Goodwill for $34.99 Turns
Out to Be Ancient Roman
Relic From 1 AD
Store manager: “If we knew it was
that old, we would have charged less.” |
|
| |
| MISCELLANEOUS |
|
Worker Productivity Sees
Biggest Decline Since 1947
Year padded bra invented. |
|
Book: Obama Jealous of Biden
Envies his ears. |
| |
| EDUCATION |
|
Survey: Average Undergrad
Expects to Earn $103,880
Starting Salary Upon
Graduation
In reality, average undergrad earns
$28,247 upon graduation driving for Uber. |
| |
| TECHNOLOGY |
|
 New Wearable
Device Tracks Your Health by Gases You
Produce
Although it's easily fooled
by a whoopee cushion. |
|
|
| FEATURE |
 |
| According to the most recent
CNN Poll, what percentage of Americans
do not want to see Roe v. Wade overturned? |
| |
A ) |
13% |
|
| |
B ) |
23% |
|
| |
C ) |
33% |
|
| |
D ) |
69% |
|
| Hint: C) is their
poll of the Supreme Court. |
|
|
|
| |
| SPORTS |
|
80-1 Longshot Wins Kentucky Derby
So unexpected, horse had already been
purchased by Krazy Glue. |
| |
| ODDS 'N' ENDS |
|
 |
| |
Lucid: New Electric Car to Be
Manufactured in Saudi Arabia
Aimed at affluent oil sheiks
concerned about environment. |
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