Clogged White House Toilets
Ordered daily intelligence briefings
printed on softer paper.
|Increased Use of VR Headsets Blamed
for Spike in Household Damage Claims
Frightening fire-breathing dragons turn out
to be that chandelier you got at IKEA.
Convoy Protest Blocks Border Crossing
Cuts off supply of Canadian imports like
maple syrup, Canadian bacon, comedy writers.
|HEALTH / MEDICINE
|Study: Lifting Weights for
Just 3 Seconds a Day Can
Improve Muscle Strength
Try using a grocery sack filled with
several gallons of ice cream.
|$10B James Webb
Telescope Sends Back First Image
General reaction: back to the drawing board.
Humans Moved Into Cave One
Year After Neanderthals Abandoned It
History's earliest known case of gentrification.
Rover Image of Reclining Alien
Figure Actually Just a Rock
But who put it there remains a mystery.
|Researchers Observe Chimps
Performing First Aid on
Themselves and Each Other
While other chimps spread misinformation.