PEOPLE |
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QAnon Shaman
Pleads Guilty
“I'm one ashamed shaman,”
he tells judge. |
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BUSINESS |
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Report: Bitcoin Uses More
Electricity Than Many Countries
And bitcoin pays its electric bill
in bitcoins. |
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August Jobs Report Disappointing,
But Many Positions Unfilled
Sign makers report equal sales of
“Help Wanted” and “I
Need a Job” signs. |
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Amazon Recruiting Pot Smokers
to Solve Delivery Driver Shortage
Due to Screening Out Pot Smokers
Amends Prime 2-day delivery policy
to “whenever.” |
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Apple Accused of Listening to
Users' Siri Questions Without
Their Knowledge
Charge leveled after Siri answers
“Yes” when asked, “Siri, does Apple
listen to my questions without my
knowledge?” |
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SCIENCE |
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Astronauts Report New
Cracks in Aging Space Station
NASA hurriedly schedules mission
to send “that guy on TV who turns
a screen door into a boat.” |
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Haze From Western Wildfires
Spoiled Perseid Meteor Shower
Next year, Perseid Meteor Shower
may shower a different planet. |
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HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Purdue Pharma Dissolved in
$4.5 Billion Opioid Settlement
Disgraced Sackler family left with
mere $6.5 billion. |
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Study: Toxic “Forever
Chemicals” Contaminate
Indoor Air at Dangerous Levels
Recommends everyone wear mask outside
house, hazmat suit inside. |
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POLL |
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65% of American Workers
Actively Searching for New Job
Something they can do at home, in their
underwear, stoned, when they feel like
it, for good pay. |
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