| NEW PRODUCTS |
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 Apple's New
AirTag Helps You Find Your
Keys and So Much More!
Keep one in your wallet, another
in your car, another attached to
your laptop, another in the drawer
where you keep all the other
AirTags. Great for artificial
limbs! $29 for one, but you'll
need about thirty of them, so
do the math. Available at
Scatterbrains, Sixes and
Sevens, or directly from Apple. |
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| TECHNOLOGY |
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Consumer Reports Road Test
Reveals: Teslas Can Self-Drive
With Nobody in the Driver's Seat
It's the first car recommended for
crash test dummies. |
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| MISCELLANEOUS |
|
France: 15 Volunteers Emerge
From 40 Days in Cave for
Isolation Study
They all desperately missed seeing
their friends and family on Zoom. |
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| P0LL |
|
Two Thirds Say They Want
To Work Remotely Full-Time
After Pandemic
Remaining third say they'll go
in once a week if they can bring
their guns. |
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| FEATURE |
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| The latest annual World Happiness
Report is topped by Finland,
Denmark, Switzerland, and Iceland.
Where did the United States rank? |
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A ) |
5th |
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B ) |
6th |
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C ) |
7th |
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D ) |
19th |
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| Hint: hey, we beat out Rwanda,
Zimbabwe, and Afghanistan. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
|
Kim Jong Un Calls North
Korea's Current Economic
Crisis “Worst Ever”
Says he hasn't had a lobster in over a week. |
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| ODDS 'N' ENDS |
|
 Dogecoin's $50 Billion
Valuation Makes It Bigger
Than Ford, Kraft
For a rock solid financial future,
encourage your children to invest
in prank cryptocurrencies. |
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