Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – MARCH 22 - 28, 2021
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NEW PRODUCTS
Digital-Only Gucci Sneakers on Sale for Just $17.99!
If they were real, they'd cost hundreds, but with VR you can be wearing these for practically nothing! They don't get dirty, and if you step in something, they still look great! Another plus: they weren't made by child slaves in Malaysia. At Gucci and GameStop.
 
TECHNOLOGY
“Lunar Ark” Containing
6.7 Million Species' Frozen
Sperm Samples Proposed

Easy part: building an ark on the moon.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
  Survey: 1 in 3 Americans Would
Give Anything to Live in
Futuristic “Jetsons” Home

Instead of retro “Flintstones” dump they currently live in.
FEATURE
How many metric tons of carbon are produced each year by the sending and receiving of text messages?
   A )  7  
   B )  70  
   C )  700  
   D )  7,000,000  
Hint: that's a lot of lol's.
 
POLITICS
Research: Nearly All American
Voters Live in Communities
Where They're Unlikely to
Encounter People With
Different Political Views

Or different hats.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Wax Museum Forced to Remove Trump Wax Figure Because People Kept Punching It
Then forced to bring it back when people stopped coming to museum.

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