| TECHNOLOGY |
 |
 First 3-D
Printed Rib-Eye Unveiled
But it was “a little tough”
and sent back. |
|
| |
| MISCELLANEOUS |
|
QAnon: Trump Will Take Over
Again on March 4
Barring scheduling conflict with
another conspiracy theory. |
|
Study: Average Gamer Full-Time
Professional Dad of Three
Bong-owning overeater, married
often, seldom promoted. |
| |
| SPORTS |
|
MLB Announces it Has
Deadened Baseballs to
Limit Home Runs
Adds cocaine to rosin bags to
speed up action. |
|
 Mark Cuban
Relents, Mavericks Will
Continue With National
Anthem Before Home Games
But in rotation with Serbian, Slovenian,
Croatian anthems. |
|
|
| FEATURE |
 |
| In a new poll, what percentage
of Americans say democracy is
working well? |
| |
A ) |
85% |
|
| |
B ) |
72% |
|
| |
C ) |
61% |
|
| |
D ) |
16% |
|
| Hint: maybe they should
keep that fence around the Capitol. |
|
|
|
| |
| RELIGION |
|
Report: Some Capitol Attackers
Believe They Answered God's
Call, Not Just Trump's
Many claim they answered God's tweet. |
| |
| ODDS 'N' ENDS |
|
 Jeep Pulls Bruce
Springsteen Super Bowl Ad
After Recent DUI Revealed
Similar to when Sominex pulled its
Super Bowl ad with Bill Cosby. |
|
|
