| PEOPLE |
 |
 Seen Shopping
at Costco: O.J. Simpson
Later spotted seething at employee
because they ran out of paper towels. |
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| PUBLISHING |
|
 Source: Bolton
Book Contains Bombshells
Revelations include numerous impeachable
offenses, illegal and unconstitutional
actions, and other things everyone
already knows about. |
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| |
| ENTERTAINMENT |
|
 HBO Max Pulls
Gone With the Wind From Its Lineup
After complaints about use of word “damn.” |
|
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“Cops,” America's Longest-
Running Reality Show, Canceled
Replacing it: “Victims.” |
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| BUSINESS |
|
Starbucks to Let Baristas Wear
“Black Lives Matter” T-Shirts
As long as they wear Starbucks t-shirts
at protest marches. |
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| SCIENCE |
|
Study: 500 Species Likely to Become
Extinct Over Next Two Decades
Trump “not surprised,” calls them “losers.” |
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| ENVIRONMENT |
|
Over 1,000 Tons of Tiny Plastic
Fragments Rain Down Annually
on National Parks in the West
In twenty years, experts predict
buffaloes, bears, other wild animals
will resemble Legos. |
| |
| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
New York City Health
Department Issues Guidelines,
Suggestions for Sex During
Pandemic
For women, suggests “think of Dr. Fauci,”
and for men, “Dr. Birx.” |
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Researchers Create Models of
What Netflix Binge Watchers
Will Look Like in 20 Years
Assuming they stay on a couch eating
junk food without a break for two
decades, a reasonable assumption. |
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