Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – APRIL 6 - 12, 2020
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TECHNOLOGY
  Fired Captain Whose Letter Went Public Gets Huge Sendoff From Crew
Trump, furious, tweets: “Sailors not practicing social distancing! COURT-MARTIAL!”
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Study: Telling Lies Makes People Desire Mouthwash, Writing Lies Makes People Desire Hand Sanitizer
And, if you do both, there's a job waiting for you at the White House.
 
P0LL
Half Say Government Doing
Good Job Stemming Spread of
Coronavirus, Half Say It Isn't

Half who said it isn't have since passed.
 
SPORTS
Pro Leagues Ponder Return With Games, But No Fans
Alternate scenario, fans but no games, tabled.
FEATURE
What group of people was recently described as “a frat party that descended from a UFO”?
A )An eighties band from Athens, Ga.
B )The cast of “Big Brother: Amsterdam”
C )The Martian chapter of Phi Sigma Delta
D )The group of friends Jared Kushner recruited to run the country's coronavirus response.
Hint: get used to a long, long stay at home.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Trump Says Everyone Who Wants to Wear a Mask Should, But It's Only Voluntary and He Will Not Wear One
Pence already wearing mask, says we should have fun with it.

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