| TECHNOLOGY |
 |
 |
| |
Fired Captain Whose Letter
Went Public Gets Huge Sendoff From Crew
Trump, furious, tweets: “Sailors not
practicing social distancing! COURT-MARTIAL!” |
| |
| MISCELLANEOUS |
|
Study: Telling Lies Makes People
Desire Mouthwash, Writing Lies
Makes People Desire Hand Sanitizer
And, if you do both, there's a job waiting
for you at the White House. |
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| P0LL |
|
Half Say Government Doing
Good Job Stemming Spread of
Coronavirus, Half Say It Isn't
Half who said it isn't have since passed. |
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| SPORTS |
|
 Pro Leagues
Ponder Return With Games, But No Fans
Alternate scenario, fans but no games, tabled. |
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| FEATURE |
 |
| What group of people was recently
described as “a frat party that
descended from a UFO”? |
| A ) | An eighties band from Athens, Ga. |
| B ) | The cast of “Big Brother: Amsterdam” |
| C ) | The Martian chapter of Phi Sigma Delta |
| D ) | The group of friends Jared Kushner
recruited to run the country's coronavirus response. |
| Hint: get used to a long, long stay at home. |
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| ODDS 'N' ENDS |
|
 Trump Says
Everyone Who Wants to Wear a Mask
Should, But It's Only Voluntary and
He Will Not Wear One
Pence already wearing mask, says we
should have fun with it. |
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