| PEOPLE |
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North Korea: Kim Jong-Un's
Aunt Reappears 6 Years After Husband
Executed With a Flamethrower
She's the one sitting nervously two
seats to his left. |
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| ENTERTAINMENT |
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 Pee-Wee Herman
Selling “Dark” Screenplay
Where He's Addicted to Pills,
Alcohol, Receives Shock Treatment
And Miss Yvonne files sexual harassment
charges against Cowboy Curtis. |
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| BUSINESS |
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Jeff Bezos Adds $13.2 Billion to
His Fortune in Just Minutes
After 132 million people accidentally
sign up for Prime. |
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| CONSUMER NEWS |
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GMC Unveils Electric Hummer
Pick-Up With 1,000 Horsepower
Rev the engine and all across
America lights dim. |
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Study: Conceited, Self-Absorbed
Men Most Likely to Drive "High
Status" Cars
Next most likely: their ex-wives. |
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| SCIENCE |
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 New Solar
Telescope Takes Most Detailed
View of Sun Ever
Still no signs of water. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Report: One Third of Commuters
Stressed Out Before Getting to
Office
Once there they can decompress, relax,
put on headphones, watch porn. |
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Study: An Egg a Day Perfectly
Fine for Heart Health
Three eggs with bacon, sausage, hashbrowns,
biscuit and gravy not so much. |
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