| PEOPLE |
 |
 White House
Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders
Says She's Leaving
To spend more time with her self-respect. |
|
|
 O.J. Simpson
25 Years Later: “Life is Fine”
“I wouldn't change a thing.” |
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| BUSINESS |
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Survey: U.S. No Longer World's
Most Competitive Economy
But we're number one in part-time workers. |
|
McDonald's Adding More
Inexpensive Items as Gap
Between Rich, Poor Widens
Will begin selling individual French fries at
some locations. |
|
 Uber to Use
Drones for Food Delivery
Your order free if partially eaten by crows. |
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| SCIENCE |
|
Trump Again Denies Climate Change,
Says He Believes in “Weather Change”
Keeps close eye on it, every morning on “Fox
and Friends.” |
|
Signs Detected of Mirror-Image
Universe Touching Our Own
Just like our universe except people part their
hair on the opposite side. |
| |
 Saturn Moon
Europa Contains Massive Amounts of
Table Salt (Sodium Chloride)
“This is a significant discovery,”
says spokesman for Planters. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
New Tests Reveal Popular
Kids Cereals Contaminated
With Weed Killer
Along with artificial flavors, colors and other
popular carcinogens. |
|
Doctors Say 120 Minutes
Outdoors Per Week Enough
After that it gets boring. |
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