Ironic Times

page one
PAGE THREE – JAN 28 - FEB 3, 2019
page two

MISCELLANEOUS
  All Four Living Ex-Presidents Deny Telling Trump They Wanted Wall
White House: he meant dead ex-presidents.
 
TECHNOLOGY
Amazon Debuts New Delivery Robot
Its first delivery: Jeff Bezos's divorce papers.
 
FACTOID
World's Top 26 Billionaires Now Own as Much as Poorest 3.8 Billion
A great incentive to become a billionaire.
 
SPORTS
Blown Calls in Championship
Games Force NFL to Consider
Expanding Instant Replay
Gamblers have reportedly threatened to break Commissioner Roger Goodell's thumbs.
SPECIAL REPORT

President Threatens Cohen's Family, Cohen Postpones Congressional Testimony Indefinitely
Anonymous sources have provided the following transcript of Trump's call to Cohen:

“Yo, Mikey, it's me, I'm calling about your testimony to Congress, because I'm very concerned about your family — something bad could happen to, for example, your daughter. Such a nice girl! It would be a real shame if she happened to get run over by a truck, know what I'm sayin'? Hate to see such a pretty face all messed up, maybe in a hospital with a couple of broken legs or something, which can happen when you're hit by a truck. If I were you, pal, I'd pass on the date with Congress so I could pray for the continuing health of my beautiful daughter — that nothing should happen too her, God forbid! So I think you're going to do the right thing, here, so nothing happens to your family.”

 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
“Professional Seductress” Who Claims to Have Collusion Info Released From Russian Jail
Already eight congressional committees want her to appear before them.

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE
 ©  Copyright 2019 Ironic Times