Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – OCTOBER 1 - 7, 2018
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PEOPLE
Kellyanne Conway Says She Was Sexually Assaulted
But not by Kavanaugh, so he should be confirmed.
Trump Tells Crowd of Supporters He and Kim Jong Un “Fell in Love”
Putin reportedly livid with jealousy.
 
BUSINESS
Smucker's Defends Use of
High Fructose Corn Syrup
In Its Jellies, Jams

“With a name like fructose it has to be good.”
Dunkin' Donuts Officially Drops Donuts From Its Name
Going after health-conscious diners.
Elon Musk Fined $20 Million by SEC for Making False Public Statements
Tweeted he'd take Tesla private with financial backing from interests on Mars.
 
TRAVEL
Study: Passengers Don't Trust Pilots With Southern Accents
Feel greatly at risk when both pilot, co-pilot named Bubba.
SCIENCE
Study: Cats Prove Terrible at Controlling Rat Populations
Jerry outwits Tom virtually every time.
Researchers: Seaweed Diet
Lessens Cow Farting, “Will
Fight Climate Change”

Only hurdle: getting cows to the beach.
 
In a First, African Lion Cubs Conceived Artificially
Project funded by Donald Trump Jr.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Older People Should Avoid Taking Aspirin to Prevent Heart Attacks, Strokes, Dementia, Cancer
At least until next study contradicts it.
 
CORRECTION
 
Last week, the wrong picture accompanied a story about the contentious Senate Judiciary Committee hearing on Brett Kavanaugh. The correct picture is above. We regret the error.

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