Ironic Times

page one
PAGE TWO – MAY 1 - 7, 2017
page three

PEOPLE
Experts Predict Trump Will Name Roger Ailes to Head Sexual Abuse Task Force
If past hires are any indication.
Joe Biden Says He Won't
Run in 2020

Despite calls from those who see him as younger alternative to Bernie Sanders.
 
MEDIA
Google's “Project Owl” Will
Attempt to Root Out Fake
News, Problematic Content

Leaving about twelve web pages.
 
BUSINESS
Report: Long Hours, Low Pay
At Chinese Factory Making
Ivanka Trump Clothing

Workers look forward to pooling their life savings and buying a blouse.
Nordstrom Selling Fake Mud-Covered Jeans for $425
To keep them looking like new, dry-clean only.
SCIENCE
UFO Sightings More Than
Tripled in Last 15 Years

Experts baffled, wonder what they see in us.
NASA to Let Cassini Spacecraft Plunge, Burn Up in Saturn's Atmosphere
No Chuck Berry music on this one.
Study: Soil Found on Mars
Could Be Made Into Bricks,
Used for Construction

NASA told to come up with plan for 60-story Trump Tower on sunny side of planet.
 
Report: More Realistic Crash-Test Dummies Needed to Represent Heavier Drivers
Also, more distracted crash-test dummies.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Neurosurgeon Says He'll
Perform First Human Head
Transplant This Year

Looking for torso with size 17 neck.

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE
 ©  Copyright 2017 Ironic Times