| MISCELLANEOUS |
 |
 Chicago Cubs
GM Theo Epstein Tops Pope, Others on List of
World's Greatest Leaders
Pope's lack of World Series ring a factor. |
|
|
Norway Replaces Denmark Atop List
of World's Happiest Countries
Throwing Danes into deep depression. |
| |
| TECHNOLOGY |
|
Fears Raised That Changeover to
Self-Driving Cars Will Create
Severe Organ Shortage
Unless they're programmed to cause thousands of
random highway deaths. |
| |
| SPORTS |
|
 Shaquille O'Neal:
"Only Kidding" About Saying World Flat
That leaves Kyrie Irving, Draymond Green, and
President Trump as prominent Flat-Earthers. |
|
|
| LEISURE |
|
 New Monopoly
Tokens Unveiled
They still have to be approved by Congress. |
|
| |
| TRAVEL |
|
Airlines Now Offering Seats Where You
Can Choose Your Location, Sit Next to
Family or Friends, Order Food or Store
Bags in Overhead Bins for More Money
For significantly more money you can have
another passenger you find loud and
objectionable removed from plane. |
| |
| ODDS 'N' ENDS |
 |
 Trump Drives
Runaway Truck Without Brakes Towards
Impenetrable Barrier
On National Metaphor Day. |
|
|
