PEOPLE |
 |
Dylan “Honored”
to Win Award, But Can't Attend
Nobel Ceremony
Has to shampoo his hair. |
|
 |
Report: Trump Values Loyalty
Above All Else
Certainly above intelligence, experience, or character. |
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BUSINESS |
 |
Black Friday Expected to
Be Bigger Than Last Year
Led by gun sales to Democrats. |
 |
United Offering Cheaper Fares,
But Adds Fees for Carry-Ons,
Seat Selection
And life vest. |
 |
Peru: Secret
Service Seizes $30 Million in
Counterfeit U.S. Bills
Peruvian counterfeiters have kept U.S. economy
afloat for eight years. |
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SCIENCE |
 |
NASA, FEMA Simulate Asteroid
Strike on Los Angeles
Determines millions will die, followed by
financial rebirth led by hugely successful
disaster films. |
 |
“You Can't Wish Away
the Facts,”
Top Scientist Tells Trump
Trump to seek second opinion. |
|
Stephen
Hawking: We Won't Last 1000
Years on This Planet
It's his latest pick-up line. |
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HEALTH / MEDICINE |
 |
Study: Rich Outlive Poor
By Up to 9.5 Years
Nine and a half years with no one
to take care of them. |
 |
Research: Exercise Can Help
Concussion Patients Recover Faster
Conclusion: as soon as they can see straight,
send 'em back in the game. |
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