| PEOPLE |
 |
 Pope Francis
Releases Pop- Rock Album
Critics find it more upbeat, tuneful
than predecessor Pope Benedict's album,
“My Favorite Dirges.” |
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| BUSINESS |
|
 Seattle: Amazon Opens Its
First Physical Bookstore
Designed as warm, welcoming, friendly,
just like the ten independent bookstores
it put out of business. |
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|
 Candy Crush
Purchased for $6 Billion
It's now too big to fail. |
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 McDonald's
Secret Menu Revealed
You can order special items like an
eight-patty Monster Mac (above), or Super-Size
Quad Monster Mac with thirty-two
patties (not shown). |
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| SCIENCE |
|
Quantum Theory, Long Derided
By Einstein, Confirmed
Those of you who bet on Einstein,
time to pay up. |
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Astrophysicist Believes He May
Have Found Evidence of a Parallel Universe
Where Nobel Prize has already been
given to another astrophysicist
for discovering ours. |
| |
 NASA Puts
Out Call for New Astronauts
No experience necessary. |
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| HEALTH/ MEDICINE |
|
Study: Morbidly Obese Eat
50% More French Fries Than
Average Person
Then they eat average person's leftover fries. |
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| PUBLISHING |
|
 In Book,
George H.W. Bush Slams “Arrogant”
Rumsfeld, “Iron-Ass” Cheney
And “dim bulb” son. |
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