| PEOPLE |
 |
 Trump Says
He's “Serious”
About Running in 2016
In response to question, “You're
kidding, aren't you?” |
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| |
| MEDIA |
 |
|
Bill Bites Back
Barks, bellows, bullies, bloviates. |
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| BUSINESS |
|
FCC Approves New Rules to
Treat Net as Public Utility
Furious opponents prefer net
controlled by your cable company,
which still has you on hold. |
| |
| CONSUMER NEWS |
|
 First Girl Scout Cookie Oven to
Hit Shelves Soon
Perfect for little girls who love Girl
Scout cookies but hate the Girl Scouts. |
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| SCIENCE |
|
 NASA Spacecraft Spots Two
Mysterious Lights Coming From
Dwarf Planet Ceres
Will ask finalists for one-way Mars
trip if they'd be interested in going
to Ceres. |
|
|
 Black Hole
Discovered 12 Billion Times More Massive
Than the Sun
In other words, it's too big to fail. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
First Human Head Transplant
Could Happen in Two Years
As soon as legal issue of whether
head belongs to body or body
belongs to head is resolved. |
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| FACTOID |
|
99.83% of All Climate Scientists
Believe in Man-Made Global Warming
The remaining 0.17% serve on the
board of ExxonMobil. |
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