| PEOPLE |
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Wilt Chamberlain
Postage Stamp Issued
Already, twenty thousand women have
purchased it. |
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| ENTERTAINMENT |
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Movie Version of “Tetris” Planned
A-listers reportedly fighting over role of L-shaped brick. |
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| BUSINESS |
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New York Realtors: Too Many Luxury Apartments
Not enough Russian oligarchs. |
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Rumor: Tesla to Introduce Driverless Model
Aimed at the invisible man who has everything. |
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 Former Fed Chief
Bernanke Admits He Was Unable to Refinance His
Mortgage
And his Ford Taurus was repossessed. |
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| SCIENCE |
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 Rochester University Researchers
Unveil Invisibility Cloak
And haven't been seen since. |
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 Iceland's
Mythical Sea Monster Captured on Film
Ruining a perfectly good myth. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Waist Measurements for Average
American Adults Rises to 38.8 Inches
Bad news for average American adults,
great news for belt makers. |
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| ADVERTISING |
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 New Viagra Ad Targets Women
“For erections lasting longer than four hours, call your girlfriend.” |
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