| PEOPLE |
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 Gates Regains Title of World’s
Richest Man
After winning $590 million Powerball jackpot. |
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| ENTERTAINMENT |
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Disney Fined $80,025 for
Safety Issues at Disneyland,
Including One “Willful and
Serious Violation”
Rodent infestation. |
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| BUSINESS |
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Report: Apple Avoided Paying
Billions in Taxes
And did so with style. |
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Wal-Mart Blames Weak
Results on Taxes, Weather
One of their Malaysian sweatshops was flooded. |
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Colgate-Palmolive Applies for
Caffeinated Toothbrush Patent
For that jolt of energy you need just before going to bed. |
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 Ferrari to Reduce Sales to Maintain
Exclusivity of Brand
Sorry, but you can’t buy the one you’ve
had your eye on. |
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| SCIENCE |
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Study: Cologne Inhibits Female
Sexual Arousal
Guys will want to have emergency cologne
handy at all times to deal with any unwanted
female sexual arousal they may cause. |
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European Study: Human Disaster Looms if Global Temps Rise 4ºC
Fortunately, we use Fahrenheit over here. |
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 New Theory: Humans Hunted, Ate Neanderthals
Revises current theory that we dated them. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Computers Gaining Use as Human Therapists
Hope is they can some day treat depressed computers. |
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Diners Greatly Underestimate
Calories in Fast-Food Meals
Many only count triple cheeseburger, neglect
to add fries, milk shake, dessert. |
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| CORRECTION |
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| Last week we reported that CO2
levels in the Earth’s atmosphere were higher than
previously believed. In fact, it was drone deaths
of U.S. citizens that was higher than previously
believed. We apologize for any confusion caused
by the error. |
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