| PEOPLE |
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 Ahmadinejad
Wants to Be Iran's First Astronaut
To test his brand of crazy in zero gravity. |
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| MEDIA |
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Poll: Fox News Credibility
Suffers Sharp Drop
Fox blames Obama, mainstream media, Satan. |
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| BUSINESS |
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TSA Orders “Naked Image” Body
Scanners Removed From Airports
Manufacturer announces it will rent them out for parties. |
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| CONSUMER NEWS |
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Gun-Toting Obama
Action Figures Flood The Market
Sold as hero in blue states, villain in red states. |
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| SCIENCE |
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Nearly Half of U.S. Farms Have Monsanto’s
Roundup-Resistant Superweeds
Bad news for you, but good news for 3-eyed frogs. |
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Missouri Professor Finds New Largest
Prime Number: 257885161-1
But he still can't get a date. |
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 Rat-Like
Creature Found to Be Common Ancestor of
Man, Other Species
Only six degrees of separation between
you, vermin in sewers. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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British Study: Vegetarians Live Longer
Than Carnivores
But carnivores get laid more often. |
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 Vibrating Pen
Warns of Handwriting Mistakes
Doctors will be required to use it under Obamacare. |
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