 GREEKS FLOCK
TO ORACLE OF DELPHI
They're told that one day soon there will
be a run on the banks. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Future of European Union in Peril
Border guards brushing up on, “May I see your
passport, please?” in six languages. |
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Russia Tests Missile Designed to Counter
U.S. Anti-Missile Missile
U.S. tests anti-anti-missile missile to counter
missile to counter anti-missile missile. |
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Egyptian Presidential Runoff
Election Pits “Islamic Fascist”
Against “Military Fascist”
May the best man win. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS . . . |
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 Inventor of
Remote Control Dies at 96
Credited long life to never having to get off
the couch. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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U.S. Ranks First in Wealth,
But Not Happiness
Which we've outsourced. |
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Average American CEO Made
$10 Million in 2011
If you're making less, complain to your
handpicked board of directors. |
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| REMINDER |
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Vote for the candidate least
likely to bully a gay classmate. |
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Report: Lighter Traffic Across
Country in 2011
Experts credit 2010 report predicting
heavier traffic. |
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New York City Parking Spot
Goes for $1 Million
Comes with free cardboard “No Radio”
sign. |
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| ELECTION2012 |
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Analysts: Election Could Hinge
On One County in One Swing State
Might come down to one man: Abe Brevoort of
Lorain, Ohio. |
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