Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – DECEMBER 12 - 18, 2011
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PEOPLE
England: Queen's Pay Frozen Until 2015
She's already told Prince Philip to “drink the cheap stuff.”
Romney Chooses Kid Rock's
“Born Free” as His Official
Campaign Theme Song

After Johnny Mathis polls poorly with younger demographic.
 
MEDIA
Trump Will Moderate GOP Candidates Debate
1st Question: “Which of my secrets of wealth creation do you personally think is best, and why?”
Politico Gives Paul Ryan Healthcare Policymaker of the Year Award
For his tireless fight against healthcare policy.
 
BUSINESS
30 Biggest Corporations Spent More on Lobbying Than They Paid in Income Taxes in 2008-2010
Proving how great a job of lobbying they did.
SCIENCE
Experiment: Rats Found to Show Empathy, Work to Help Each Other
Unlike humans testing them.
Planet Discovered Similar
To Ours With Average Surface
Temperature of 72°

If men were to travel 600 light-years to get there they would be advised to bring along a light sweater.
 
New Discovery Indicates Stonehenge May Have Been Much Bigger
Included souvenir shop, kiddie rides.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Men Think About Sex 18.6 Times a Day, Women 9.9
Conclusion: 8.7 difference is cause for all the world's problems.
Kellogg's Honey Smacks Top List of Cereals With Most Sugar
One bowl of Honey Smacks contains as much sugar as two bowls of sugar.

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