Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – FEB 28 - MAR 6, 2011
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MISCELLANEOUS
Royal Wedding Invitations Go Out
If yours hasn't arrived yet, complain to the mailman.
Indian Man Has 39 Wives, 94 Children
And not one remembers his birthday.
London Eatery to Serve Breast Milk Ice Cream
Backers think Mum's could be the next Starbucks.
 
INTERNET
Gov’t Says 10% in U.S. Lack Internet Connections Fast Enough for Video
Have no idea how hilarious kittens can be.
Internet Fraud Down in 2010
As reported in Nigerian Times.
 
ENVIRONMENT
Chevron, Fined $9.5 Billion for
Causing Cancer in Ecuador,
Promises to Pay Immediately

Just as soon as their lawyers take a
look at it.
 
LIFESTYLE
Michelle Obama: Best Advice for Couples: Laugh With Your Partner
Or at your partner.
FEATURE
Cancer is responsible for 500,000 deaths per year in the United States. Which of the following known carcinogenic products are commonly found in the home?
A ) Air fresheners.
B ) Furniture polishes.
C ) Chemicals that linger in clothes that have been dry cleaned.
D ) Pesticides used for flea, tick, and lice control.
E ) Mold and mildew cleaners.
F ) Carpet and upholstery cleaners.
G ) Interior house paint.
H )Mothballs.
Hint: At least you don't have mothballs.
 
NEW PRODUCTS
Latest Edition of Monopoly Replaces Dice, Cards, Money With Computer
When computer goes on the blink, you can borrow actual dice, cards, money from someone who didn't fall for this.

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