NEW PRODUCTS |
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Finally,
An Eye-Controlled Cellphone!
In the blink of an eye you can
call your office, or
ophthalmologist. Much handier
than nose-controlled phones. Now
you can wink at someone and call
them at the same time! One
caveat: must have battery
surgically implanted in retina.
$199, at Raised Eyebrows. |
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FACTOID |
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Hawaii Happiest State, West
Virginia Least Happy
After thousands of interviews with coal
miners and hula dancers. |
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SPORTS |
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Putin Challenges Figure Skating Judges
Thinks guy from Spain should have won. |
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CONSUMER NEWS |
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Toyota Reveals Fix For
Uncontrollable Acceleration Problems
Drivers must say clearly, “Close the
electronic acceleration system, Hal.” |
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TRAVEL |
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Study: Vacationers Most Happy
Before Vacation
When they still have money. |
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American Airlines to Charge
$8 for Pillow and Blanket
Per hour. |
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MISCELLANEOUS |
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Cleveland Tops List of
“Most Miserable” U.S. Cities
Study funded by New York Knicks. |
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Panel on Bioterrorism Preparedness
Gives Government an “F”
Now government has to show report card to parents. |
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11% Check Their E-Mail
While Making Love
4% reply “OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!” |
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PUBLISHING |
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Millions of Sports Illustrated
Swimsuit Issues Recalled
Article pertaining to sports mistakenly included. |
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