| POLITICS |
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McCain Offers
$300 Million Prize for Better Car Battery
Offers $200 million prize for better-tasting
laxative. |
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| ENTERTAINMENT |
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Hollywood Braces for Possible
Actors' Strike
Starbucks braces for glut of baristas. |
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| BUSINESS |
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High Court Slashes Exxon
Valdez Spill Punitive Damages
Says ExxonMobil has "suffered
enough." |
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Chrysler to Offer Internet
Access in '09 Models
Automatically uploads video of your
gruesome accident to YouTube. |
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 Burger
King Debuts $200 Burger
Less extravagant items available
on its new “Under $100”
menu. |
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| SCIENCE |
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Study: Evolution Favors
Trying
New Things
Explains adultery. |
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Astronomers Date Odysseus's
Homecoming to April 16, 1178 B.C.
Next up: determining date rocketship
bearing Superman landed on Earth. |
| |
 Physicist: Tiny
Chance Atom Smasher Will Create
All-Consuming Death Star
Still, you should put on hold any
plans beyond August. |
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| CORRECTION |
| |
| Last week
we stated that only two percent
of all network news is
"devoted to superficial
stories about celebrities."
It should have read:
"devoted to coverage of the
wars in Iraq and
Afghanistan." We apologize
for the error. |
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