Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JUNE 23 - 29, 2008
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PEOPLE
Court Reduces Helmsley's Dog's Trust Fund by $10 Million
After dog pees on her grave.
Bush to Write Memoir
Like others, it'll lay bare the hypocrisy and incompetence of his administration.
 
BUSINESS
One in Three Tech Workers
Spy on Others

According to surveillance.
United Airlines to Require
Minimum Stays

After intense pressure from grandmas.
Hummer Forced to Downsize
“It's shrink or sink,” says GM spokesman.
SCIENCE
Sarcasm Called Evolutionary
Survival Skill

Yeah, that really explains it.
Scientists Clear Vikings of Murder in Suspicious Death in 834
Based on new testimony.
 
Ice on Mars Confirmed
Label on Coors bottle turns blue.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Internet Addiction Described
As Clinical Disorder

Fortunately there's plenty of help online.
Study: Older Women Got Taller
From Practicing Yoga

Got shorter from playing Canasta.
Study: Coffee Doesn’t Raise
Death Risk

But makes life go by faster.

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