| ENTERTAINMENT |
 |
 Playboy Club
Opens in Las Vegas
Bunnies, gambling,
Vegas's most
reliable oxygen tanks
provide lure. |
|
| |
| MEDIA |
|
 Katie Couric Asks Viewers For
Signoff Suggestions
Most popular: “Good-night and
good-bye.” |
|
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
Consumer Spending Up
More people buying rifles, building bomb
shelters. |
|
Army Pays Ad Agency $200
Million For New Slogan: “Army
Strong”
Replaces “Army Smart.” |
|
 R.J. Reynolds
to Halt Domestic Sales of
Fruit- Flavored Cigarettes
Move won't effect
Bubble Gum, Cotton Candy,
other popular flavors. |
|
|
| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
Study: Most CEO’s
Spanked as Children
Today, most visit dominatrixes. |
|
Study: Obesity Leads to
Memory Loss
See a doctor if you keep forgetting where
you put the doughnuts. |
|
Doctors Urge More Playtime
for Kids
Parents should force children to play
more, better. |
| |
| EDUCATION |
|
Michigan Board of Ed. Backs
Evolution, Not Intelligent
Design, in Science Classes
Moves boldly into 19th century, passing
Kansas. |
| |
| KIDZ KORNER |
| Vocabulary
Builders |
| diplomacy
n. reward
bestowed by one nation on
another for being
friendly or compliant, as
in, “we don't
like them, so we
can't use ~” |
| ambassador
n. diplomat with
a violent or abusive
temperament, as in,
“just wait until our
UN ~ catches one of
'em in a dark
alley” |
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