Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JUNE 19 - 25, 2006
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PICTURE OF THE WEEK
Senators Wear Seersucker for “Seersucker Thursday”
Not shown: naked Senators on “Clothing Optional Friday.”
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Nielsen to Include Internet, iPods, Cellphones in TV Ratings
In test, last week's top 100 shows were all videos of teenage boys mooning camera.
Italian Directors Shoot Entire Movie
On Cellphone Camera

“Upskirt Parade” opens in two weeks.
 
BUSINESS
Bill Gates to Step Down in 2008
Assuming he has enough saved up for retirement.
 
NEW PRODUCTS
Latest iPod Aimed at AARP Crowd
Apple iPoop® stores up to 5000 songs.
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Report: Seventeen Glasses of Beer a Day May Prevent Prostate Cancer
And standing up.
Study: Obesity Begins in the Brain
Ends in the hips.
Report: America's Emergency
Rooms Nearing Capacity

Public urged to have serious medical problems soon, or risk getting shut out.
 
 
Study: Chimps Evolving Faster Than Humans
Eventually they'll pay to gawk at us.
 
Sex May Relieve Headaches
Finding renders excuse “I've got a headache” worse than useless.
 
CORRECTION
 
In a recent story we reported that despite a phone call from a Texas oil executive to Karl Rove, the EPA refused to alter a rule which kept groundwater clean near oil drilling sites. In fact, the EPA changed the rule in response to the complaint, allowing pollution of the groundwater. We regret any confusion caused by our mistake.

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