MEDIA |
 |
 |
Cosmo Turns
40: Still Spicy, Sexy,
Smart, Fun, Fearless
& Female
With a saucy smidgeon
of cosmetic surgery, a flirty
fistful of anti-depressants. |
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ENTERTAINMENT |
 |
Lowbrow Movies Dominate
Summer Box Office
Studios counting on Fall releases to
sink even lower. |
 |
“Desperate
Housewives”
Star Injured on Set
Expected to recover fully from bruised
ego. |
|
BUSINESS |
 |
Bush Administration Insists
on
Allowing Truckers to Drive for
11 Hours Straight
Victims of resulting accidents will be
treated by young doctors working 36-hour
shifts in emergency rooms. |
 |
Sale on Used iBooks for
$50 Causes Stampede in Virginia, Scores
Injured
Apple stock up sharply in heavy trading. |
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SCIENCE |
 |
Plan Announced for Midwest to
Reintroduce Lions, Elephants, Cheetahs
And a few Democrats. |
 |
Scientists to Grow Test Tube
Meat
For scientists who leave their lunch at
home. |
|
Newborns Exposed
to Mozart Perform
Better in Life, Says
Study
More likely to become
court musicians. |
|
|
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HEALTH / MEDICINE |
 |
Study: Two-Thirds of
Americans Overweight
Other third too busy eating to get
weighed. |
 |
Research: Men Have Trouble
Hearing Women
And the feeling is mutual. |
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CORRECTION |
 |
In a recent
article under the headline, “There's
Still Hope,” we mistakenly reported
that 68% of Americans accept the theory
of evolution while only 28% believe in
Satan. In fact, 68% believe in Satan
while only 28% accept the theory of
evolution. We apologize for the error,
and retract the entire article. |
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