| POLITICS |
 |
 Bush Recruits
His Mother to Push Social
Security Package
She's old, she's popular
and she needs Social
Security like a hole in
the head. |
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| |
| FACTOID |
|
Average British Woman Spends
$54,000 on Shoes in Lifetime
When royal family excluded, average drops
to $1,300. |
| |
| SPORTS |
|
NFL Training Camps Open
Linemen, special teams report; head
cases, prima donnas arrive in two weeks. |
|
NHL: New Rule Eliminates Ties
If tied after overtime and shootout, team
with most teeth wins. |
| |
| MISCELLANEOUS |
|
EBay: Slice
of Toast Bearing Image of
Michael Jackson Sold for
$6
To Michael Jackson. |
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| FEATURE |
 |
| Which of the
following countries is
the most vulnerable to
the catastrophic effects
of global warming? |
| | A ) | Could it be Brazil? |
| | B ) | Maybe China? |
| | C ) | Ohmigod,
it's not us, is it? |
| | D ) | Relax,
it's France. |
|
|
“Solid”
is to “conservative” as
_________ is to “liberal” |
| | A ) | knee jerk |
| | B ) | screaming |
| | C ) | card-carrying |
| | D ) | bleeding heart |
| | E ) | crazy |
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| |
| COINS |
|
U.S. Issues
Iwo Jima Silver Dollar
Commemorates only time we struck
back at people who attacked us. |
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