| SPORTS |
 |
 |
Chimp Wins
Animal Kingdom Open On
Final Hole
Eagle fails to birdie. |
|
|
Football Drops to Fourth
Among
Most Popular Sports
Tops baseball, which drops to fifth. |
| |
| TOP 5 MOST POPULAR SPORTS: |
| |
1. |
Poker |
|
| |
2. |
Eating |
|
| |
3. |
Wife-Carrying |
|
| |
4. |
Football |
|
| |
5. |
Baseball |
|
|
| |
 |
| |
| LAW |
|
Two Men Arrested for Telling
Lawyer Jokes
Advised by their attorney to plead guilty. |
|
| FEATURE |
 |
| Last week
Americans celebrated the
4th by displaying a
record number of American
flags. This patriotic
display was made possible
by: |
| A ) | Real
estate agents
distributing lawn flags
for free to potential
clients. |
| B ) | Chinese
slave laborers making
flags cheaply enough so
real estate agents can
distribute them for free. |
| C ) | Trade
agreements making it
possible for Chinese to
make cheap flags and
invest profits to finance
our deficits. |
|
|
|
| |
| LIFESTYLE |
|
 Chicago
Study: Women Smeared With
Grapefruit Smell Younger To Men
Florida Citrus Council developing ads to
promote “The Cagney Effect.” |
|
|
