Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JUNE 27 - JULY 3, 2005
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ADVERTISING
Tony Blair Signs Ad Deal With Lipton Tea
Lipton unable to agree to terms with first choice, Ozzy Osbourne.
 
EDUCATION
Alabama to Stop Teaching
History in Elementary Schools

Calls it “theory, not fact.”
 
SPACE
NASA Begins Extensive Shake-Up
First to go: high-paid rocket scientists.
 
SPORTS
NBA: League, Players Agree to
Minimum Age Limit

Fans, players agree to maximum punch limit.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Elvis Impersonator Population in Danger
Numbers will drop significantly if they continue to age like their idol, say experts.
The estate tax, which Republicans seek to repeal permanently in order to protect the small family farm, has so far caused how many families to lose their farms?
A )2,015
B )368
C ) None, but you know just because it hasn't ever happened doesn't mean that one day, under some special set of circumstances it can't happen. Don't you care about small farmers?

A former Chairman of the Republican Party has been named the new President of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, which was set up by Congress in 1967 to:
A )Advance the political agenda of the party in power.
B )Better coordinate public broadcasting with similar efforts in nearby galaxies.
C )Shield public broadcasting from political influence.

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