| RELIGION |
 |
Animal
Kingdom Celebrates
Passover
Shown: gorilla easily
finds matzoh hidden under
sofa cushion. |
|
 |
|
| |
| KUDOS |
|
British Restaurant Named
World's Best
Tops annual rankings published by Boiled
Meat Monthly. |
| |
| POLITICS |
|
Presidential Election
Procedure to Change in 2008
Result will be announced by either white
or black smoke emerging from Supreme
Court building. |
| |
| SPORTS |
|
Top Athletes Have Laser
Surgery, Improve Eyesight to Better Than
20/20
Gives them huge advantage over owners at
reading fine print in contracts. |
|
 |
Latest
Baseball Video Games
Adjust for Steroids
Juiced players act hyper,
anxious, with smaller
genitalia. |
|
|
|
| FEATURE |
 |
| A
bill to shield oil
companies from lawsuits
for contaminating the
nation's water supplies,
exempt every state in the
eastern half of the
country from smog cleanup
deadlines in the Clean
Air Act, undermine the
ability of natural
resource agencies to
protect fish and
wildlife, prevent states
from protecting their own
shorelines, and put new
limits on the National
Environmental Policy Act
is: |
| A ) |
The
National Air and Water
Contamination Bill |
| B ) |
The
Wildlife Reduction and
Coastal Endangerment Act |
| C ) |
The
National Energy Bill |
|
| The
manufacturer's brochure
for which of the
following weapons states
that jet engines and
helicopters “are
likely targets for the
weapon, making it capable
of destroying a
multi-million-dollar
aircraft with a single
hit delivered to a vital
area?” |
| A ) |
The
cannon mounted on the
Abrams tank the U.S. Army
is using in Iraq. |
| B ) |
The
antiaircraft battery
deployed by the National
Guard to defend
Washington. |
| C ) |
The
.50 caliber sniper rifle
the NRA wants to legalize
as “a standard
hunting weapon.” |
| Hint: heads up, Bambi. |
|
|
|
|
