WHITE HOUSE
ANSWERS ITS
CRITICS
Karl Rove (left) and Dick
Cheney (right) offer their rebuttals. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Army Suspects Elaborate
Hoax in Iraq
Apparently troops were sent there
to overthrow a government that posed
no threat to the United States or its allies. |
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Red Cross Accuses U.S. of
Holding Prisoners in Secret Detention
Demands to know what has become of Colin
Powell. |
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| MEDIA |
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TV Networks Announce Cutbacks on
Political Convention Coverage
Will cover "Dallas Cheerleaders' Tribute
to the Patriot Act" for the GOP, "Bill Clinton's
Women of the White House" for the Dems. |
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| PICTURE OF THE
WEEK |
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Missing
Church Mystery
Thieves take church,
leave steeple. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Bush Defends Plunging
World Into Chaos
It was “the right thing to do.” |
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Senate Rejects Anti-Gay
Marriage Constitutional Amendment
Marriages collapse all over the
country. |
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Four Republicans on Ethics
Committee Probing DeLay Got
Money from DeLay Funding
Group Being Investigated
Making them experts. |
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REMINDER
The people in charge believe in
Armageddon. |
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Martha Stewart Sentenced to
5 Months in Jail
But she could get time off for good
taste. |
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American Workers Being Asked to
Train Their Foreign Replacements
Foreign replacements being asked
to train their robot replacements. |
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| MISCELLANEOUS |
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States Turn to Schools to
Pay for Gambling
Slot machines in classrooms
finance new casino construction. |
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