| MISCELLANEOUS |
 |
Santa Glut
Worries Some
Fear rivalries, turf wars
will lead to increased
violence. |
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|
| |
| SPORTS |
|
 Baseball:
Mets Sign Metrosexual
He'll bat leadoff
and be in charge of all
grooming decisions. |
|
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| FEATURE |
 |
| Which of the following is the
surest sign that it's one day before a
major holiday? |
| A ) | Carolers are happily
singing outside your front door. |
| B ) | The family is
joyously gathering for feast and
celebration. |
| C ) | The Bush
administration is quietly removing
environmental protections. |
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| ANSWER TO LAST WEEK'S
PUZZLER |
| |
220,996,011-1
is the largest prime number. |
|
 Fruitcake Safe
Everybody hates fruitcake, but
they do last forever. Solution?
The fruitcake safe. No one will
ever eat it, and no one would
ever think of stealing it. ($29,
Safe of the Month Club.)
 One Ton of Duct Tape
They'll be impressed
(“What did you spend for all
this?”), but it won't
cost you a dime, the
government's glad to get rid
of it. (Free,
Department of Homeland Security.)
 Meet the President
Give a friend or loved one the
gift they'll always
remember: five minutes alone with
the President of the United
States, to talk about anything
they want, as long as it's
baseball. ($300,000, Committee to
Re-Elect the President.) |
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