| WORLD NEWS |
 |
 MAJOR
GLOBAL ISSUES DEBATED AT WTO
SUMMIT IN CANCUN
Agricultural subsidies, tariff protection,
cheap generic drugs for Third World countries
just some of the issues considered
by delegates (above). |
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U.S. Apologizes to United
Nations for Calling it
“Irrelevant”
Also begs forgiveness for “chocolate
makers” quip, “Old Europe”
crack, and “cheese eaters”
slur. |
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Porn Returns to Baghdad;
Opium to Afghanistan
Proof U.S. winning war on terrorism. |
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| MISCELLANEOUS |
|
World's
Largest Salad Served to
Thousands
But everyone skips salad
and eats world’s
largest pizza (not
shown). |
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| U. S. NEWS |
|
White House Split on Terror
War
Some want to exaggerate achievements,
others to overstate threat. |
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Administration Offers New
Explanation for Iraq War
U.S. soldiers protecting homeland by
posing as targets for terrorists who
might otherwise come here. |
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Report Accuses Schools of
Neglecting Positive Messages About
America
Lousy teachers, dumb textbooks, stupid
administrators faulted for negativity. |
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Snapple Pays $166 Million for
Title “Official Beverage of New York
City”
Beats out next highest bidder, Sterno. |
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| LAW |
|
Egyptian Lawyer Sues Jews for
Plundering Egypt During Exodus;
Jews Threaten Countersuit for
400 Years of Enslavement
Out of court settlement expected. |
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