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U.S. SPECIAL
FORCES ALREADY IN IRAQ
Elite corps deployed to
No-Fly Zone. |
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WORLD NEWS |
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Afghanistan Issues New
Currency
One new Afghani purchases as much
opium as 1,000 old Afghanis. |
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Former President Carter to
Observe Jamaica Vote
Then it's on to Florida. |
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Nobel Peace Prize Chairman:
Prize for Carter a "Kick in the Leg" for
Bush
Bush: Congressional resolution "kick
in the ass" for Nobel Peace Prize Chairman. |
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Iraqi Official Calls for Duel
to the Death Between Bush and Saddam
Idea has merit, says Gore. |
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ALSO IN THE NEWS |
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Study Concludes Lie Detectors
Unreliable
But researchers won't submit to
polygraph. |
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Web-Enabled
Refrigerator-TV Debuts
Will automatically let
you know when it's
time to throw out that
furry roast beef. |
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U. S. NEWS |
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U.S. Plans Military Government
In Iraq
Much like our own. |
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Bush Initiated Off-the-Books
Harken Deal to Hide Debt, Inflate Stock
But White House explains that Saddam
could attack us at any moment. |
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Congress Passes Pledge of
Allegiance Bill
God, flag easier to uphold than
Constitution. |
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REMINDER
A fool and his money
are soon elected. |
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Supreme Court Refuses to Rule
in New Jersey Senate Controversy
Not a constitutional issue unless
Democrat wins, they say. |
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LAW |
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Alabama Anti-Sex Toy
Law Struck Down
Sex Toy Manufacturers Association: "We're going to
Disneyland." |
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