| MIDDLE EAST |
 |
Jack Meets
With Sharon
Some progress reported;
more talks likely, say aides. |
|
 |
|
| |
| ENTERTAINMENT |
|
MTV, Osbournes at Odds
Over Next Season
Ozzy is demanding better scripts,
"without all the expletives." |
| |
| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
Drug Company Reps Promise to
Cut Back on Entertaining Doctors
All playoff tickets will be at least ten rows
further back. |
| |
| SCIENCE |
|
Finding: Man's Earliest
Ancestor May Have Lived at Time of
Dinosaurs
Would have been mentally limited, but
strong and loving, with a wife named
Wilma. |
|
Tiny Pill
Camera Introduced
Will be used on upcoming
film, "Being John
Malkovich II." |
|
 |
|
|
| BUSINESS |
|
15 Seater Vans Popular With
Church Groups Are Rollover
Risk, Say Experts
Prayer, sincere belief in God
lessen the risk, say
manufacturers. |
|
SEC Investigates Possibility
That Major Brokerage Firms' Investment
Advice is Tainted by Conflict of Interest
Also looking into possibility that bears
shit in the woods. |
| |
 BIO
TECH
Gene
Found to
Make Tomatoes
Taste Fresher
Current, waxy taste will
give way to new flavor
resembling styrofoam. |
|
|
| |
| ENVIRONMENT |
|
Backers of Alaskan Drilling
Make Their Case
More oil needed to power more air
conditioners made necessary by global
warming caused by burning oil, they argue.
|
| |
| MILESTONES |
|
Queen Mum's Mum Turns 123
Celebrates quietly at Buckingham Palace. |
|
