page one PAGE TWO - MARCH 11 - 17, 2002 page three ANSWER TO LAST WEEK'S PUZZLER:  47 meetings, all with the Vice President in his office.   BUSINESS Verizon Slashes 10,000 Jobs James Earl Jones will assume more responsibilities. Microsoft: Can't Remove Internet Explorer from Windows Company not sure how it got there in the first place.   PICTURE OF THE WEEK Hindu Holymen Protest McDonald's 99¢ Menu Demand India use its nuclear arsenal to end slaughter of cows. SPACE NASA Contacts Pioneer 10, Launched 30 Years Ago Probe responds that all systems are "groovy."   SCIENCE NASA: Discovery of Martian Water Holds Great Potential Could be the next Zima. New Findings: T. Rex Much Slower Than Thought Huge dinosaur was never on time. Software Error Corrected: Universe is Beige, Not Pale Green Also, it tastes kind of like chicken, not like creamed spinach. IRONIC TIMES SPECIAL REPORT Last week, the Database of Nuclear Smuggling, Theft, and Orphan Radiation Sources at Stanford University made public a list of lost or stolen radioactive material. Here is an excerpt: Item   Last Seen   During 2 lbs Uranium 238   Hooters Restaurant, Memphis, Tenn.   TGIF Wet T-shirt Contest 1 kg Plutonium   Islamabad Bed 'n Breakfast Inn   Feta Cheese & Fatwa Hour 4 Spent Fuel Rods   3 Mile Island Moose Club   Acme Flight School Graduation Party .5 kg Uranium 235   Tblisi Zoo, Republic of Georgia   Ex-Nuclear Scientist Discount Day FRONT PAGE PAGE TWO PAGE THREE ARCHIVE CONTACT STORE  ©  Copyright 2002 Ironic Times