FLYING
SAUCERS ATTACK NATION'S
CAPITAL
But story overshadowed by
Enron hearings. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Argentina Abandons Peso
Converts to frequent flyer miles. |
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Bush Invites Leaders of
Lesser Nations to Join "Superpowers
of Tomorrow" Club
They'll get to ride in a fighter jet and
receive "Jr. TerrorStopper"
badges. |
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Mimes Trapped at South Pole
No rescue planned. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS |
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Ashcroft
Orders Cover-Up at
Justice Department
"The Spirit of
Justice" (rear) must
wear pasties. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Cheney Going to Middle
East Next Month
Hopes multi-nation trip will keep him one
step ahead of a subpoena. |
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White House Tells Public
Economy Looks Strong
But top officials secretly selling
savings bonds, buying gold. |
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REMINDER
Get up out of your chair every
now and then. |
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Budget Cuts $300 Million From
Home Heating for Poor
Administration counting on global warming
to balance things out. |
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Mormons Flee Salt Lake City
During Olympic Games Madness
Many go to Rio for Carnival. |
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| RELIGION |
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Accountants Descend From
Third to Eighth Circle of Hell
Approaching politicians, lawyers. |
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