|
CHER WINS
CONSTRUCTION SUIT
Claims of labor violations
during star's plastic surgery
are dismissed. |
|
|
|
ENTERTAINMENT |
|
Maher Taking Politically
Incorrect to Kabul
Guests will include Osama bin Laden,
Norm Crosby, Stephen Hawking, Charo,
and Henry Kissinger. |
|
Celebrities Returning to Work
Will go back to being famous again. |
|
BUSINESS |
|
Transportation Sector Hardest
Hit in Downturn, Airline Stocks Slide
But covered wagon stocks are up. |
|
Disney Will Fight
Back, Says Eisner
Pre-emptive strike on Viacom
contemplated, with ground forces to follow. |
|
American Tobacco Companies
To Help War Effort
They pledge to send free cigarettes to
terrorists. |
|
Publishers Clearing House
Enters Fray
Will bombard suspected terrorist cells
with junk mail. |
|
HEALTH
/ MEDICINE |
|
Coffee Found to Be Rich
Source of Antioxidants
Can't drink enough,
doctors now say. |
|
Doctor in New York Uses
Robot to Operate on Woman in
France
Doctor in Paris uses
robot to make love to
woman in New York |
|
THE WAR |
Afghanistan Offers
Variety of Military Targets
KEY: |
|
Major concentrations
of rubble |
|
Minor concentrations
of rubble |
|
Four or more tents close
together |
|
Goats, sheep |
|
Abandoned terrorist
camps |
|
Widows, orphans |
|
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