Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO - JULY 16 - 22, 2001
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PEOPLE
TOM GREEN, DREW BARRYMORE TIE THE KNOT
Begin stormy, 3½-year marriage.
ENTERTAINMENT
CNN, Cartoon Network to Merge in
Latest Synergy for AOL Time Warner

Judy Woodruff out, Woody Woodpecker in.
12 Emmy Nods Go to
Fox News Channel

Nine for comedy.
 
BUSINESS
Survey: More Than One-Third of
Office Workers Spied On

The other two-thirds are doing the spying.
Internet to Close
“It was fun while it lasted,” says one disappointed user.
Hispanic M&M'S Introduced
Willing to do work original M&M's unwilling to do.
SCIENCE
Study: Republicans Three Times
As Likely to Have Nightmares

Democrats' nightmares are mainly Republicans.
5.8 Million-Year-Old Hominid
Found in Ethiopia

Man's earliest ancestor appears haggard, disoriented.
 
THIS WEEK IN HISTORY
EINSTEIN MEETS THE THREE STOOGES
Historic meeting takes place at Moe's California mountain retreat on July 19, 1947.
TECHNOLOGY
New Software Translates Any
Language Into Gibberish

Program renders 1200 tongues unintelligible; could ease world tensions.
Newest Hydrogen Bomb
Fits in a Suitcase

“It just keeps getting better,” says developer.

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