| RELIGION |
 |
Sainthood
Accidentally Conferred on
Dennis Rodman
Reversing it “won't be
easy,” Vatican says. |
|
 |
|
| ENTERTAINMENT |
|
Broadway: “The
Producers” Closes
Mel Brooks jailed for fraudulently
selling 25,000% interest in show. |
|
Sony Admits Inventing Phony
Movie Reviewer
"What's really
embarrassing," says studio flak,
"he regularly panned our
films."
|
| |
| THIS
WEEK'S TOP RATED SHOWS: |
| |
1. |
When Blondes
Attack (Fox) |
| |
2. |
Execution of
the Week (PBS) |
| |
3. |
Don't Do
This, You Idiot (MTV) |
| |
4. |
Who Wants to
Be a Mindless Consumer?
(ABC) |
| |
5. |
Die, You
Pathetic Loser! (CBS) |
|
|
| |
| MISCELLANEOUS |
|
Most Drivers With “How
Am I Driving?” Bumper Stickers Don't
Want to Know
98% prefer you don't call 800 number. |
|
| SCIENCE |
|
Bush: Flying Saucers May
Be Time Machines
“No way to tell.” |
| |
| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
Nevada Passes Medical
Marijuana Law
But sets odds that Supreme Court will
strike it down at 30 to 1. |
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
Tax Cut Benefit to Top 1%
Could Spur Spending
Bye-bye Lexus, hello Lamborghini. |
|
Krispy Kreme in 2-For-1 Stock Split
Move follows recent deaths of half
the stockholders from
arteriosclerosis. |
|
Next Round of Layoffs Will Be
Unrelated To Business Cycle, Say Experts
Firings will be driven by grudges, greed. |
| |
| PEOPLE |
|
 |
NEPAL HAS NEW
LEADER
“Just
lucky, I guess,”
says King Gyanendra after
Crown Prince kills
everyone in royal family
except him. |
|
|
|
