RELIGION |
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Sainthood
Accidentally Conferred on
Dennis Rodman
Reversing it “won't be
easy,” Vatican says. |
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ENTERTAINMENT |
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Broadway: “The
Producers” Closes
Mel Brooks jailed for fraudulently
selling 25,000% interest in show. |
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Sony Admits Inventing Phony
Movie Reviewer
"What's really
embarrassing," says studio flak,
"he regularly panned our
films."
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THIS
WEEK'S TOP RATED SHOWS: |
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1. |
When Blondes
Attack (Fox) |
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2. |
Execution of
the Week (PBS) |
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3. |
Don't Do
This, You Idiot (MTV) |
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4. |
Who Wants to
Be a Mindless Consumer?
(ABC) |
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5. |
Die, You
Pathetic Loser! (CBS) |
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MISCELLANEOUS |
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Most Drivers With “How
Am I Driving?” Bumper Stickers Don't
Want to Know
98% prefer you don't call 800 number. |
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SCIENCE |
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Bush: Flying Saucers May
Be Time Machines
“No way to tell.” |
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HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Nevada Passes Medical
Marijuana Law
But sets odds that Supreme Court will
strike it down at 30 to 1. |
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BUSINESS |
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Tax Cut Benefit to Top 1%
Could Spur Spending
Bye-bye Lexus, hello Lamborghini. |
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Krispy Kreme in 2-For-1 Stock Split
Move follows recent deaths of half
the stockholders from
arteriosclerosis. |
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Next Round of Layoffs Will Be
Unrelated To Business Cycle, Say Experts
Firings will be driven by grudges, greed. |
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PEOPLE |
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NEPAL HAS NEW
LEADER
“Just
lucky, I guess,”
says King Gyanendra after
Crown Prince kills
everyone in royal family
except him. |
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